Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
