I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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