Sry I called you an 8
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
