i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
