are you still at the devil's house?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
