Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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