You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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