He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
