Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
