Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
