My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
