when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
