Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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