This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Randomize
