I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize