I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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