Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
