New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
