rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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