You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize