i wish peter jackson would direct porn
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
