i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
