Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
