i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
