Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Houston, we have a squirter
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
