Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Randomize
