It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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