let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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