Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
