My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
