Can Purell be used as lube?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
