i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
