she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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