uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
