I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she smelled like a LAN party
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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