I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
