dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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