I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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