Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
