C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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