I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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