it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
