yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
