gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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