theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
