Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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