PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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