20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize