Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
