That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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