no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to make out with him forever
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
