I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
