Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
