No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize