Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
