Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
