Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize