Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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