I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
do herpes really smell.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
