So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
