I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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