It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
