She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
