i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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