At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
